Trying to Keep it Together

As I mentioned in my last post, I am having a hard time keeping it together lately. I always feel like at any point in time I could burst into tears. I have decided perhaps it is stress. Not so much my stress, but Paul's and Kelsey's. I worry about Kelsey making poor choices right now, because I think tracy is pushing her too hard too fast.  Kyle tried to call her yesterday at lunch (at my request) and she doesn't answer. Half the time she answers calls/texts half the time she doesn't.  I don't know if it is because she doesn't feel like talking or what. She bounces between so many ideas of what she wants to do, I wish she would just stop. Enjoy her babies. Not worry about anything else.  I never know if she is answering my questions about what she wants to do honestly, or just saying what she thinks I want to hear. My main concern is she wants to take a WalMart job that is an hour from where she is living. 3 days a week. That is so crazy. She says they are the only one offering her anything. I told her there are 5-6 walMarts near where she is, that she should go in there. She doesn't need the money, but is feeling like she has to have a job. This is where I am not sure if it is her or tracy. She is starting Dominick in preschool with Jazsper. That way he gets a break from her, but still is near a familiar face. tracy tells her that Dominick is too clingy... Well yeah he is!!!! He lost Korry, now Andy, he doesn't want to leave his mom!  I don't blame him.  I just wish they all would realize that grief takes time. And Dominick doesn't know how to verbalize what he is feeling.  But preschool will help, then this summer, they will both go two full days a week. that should be fun for them.
I really think all this teariness is over Kelsey. I just wish she could see that grief takes time. Lots of time.  She just can't see it. She has been in chaos since she was about 17 and pregnant. Going here, hurrying there. She never gets a chance to stop and breathe.  This would be a good time for it. That was why I was having Kyle call. to see if he could get a feel for what she really is thinking. I don't care if she is wishy washy on buying a house, or where to buy, I just don't want her taking a job that is so ridiculously far....
I also notice changes in my dear sweet husband. Things are not always clicking for him, and I know it is stress, because no one will help him take care of Alan's stuff, and it is a lot harder on him than he is letting on. He and Alan were close. and this has really shook him. I actually think the bad motor in the new boat is good for him to have something to work on.