I CAN MAKE IT THRU A DAY

I am getting to where I can make it through the day without crying!!  4 More weeks for the last court hearing, I hope... Jazsper is getting easier on both my husband and myself.. He has seen a picture of Korry decorating cookies, the last Christmas she was alive. So when we made cupcakes this past weekend, he said "I am doing this just like momma." It actually made me smile instead of being sad. I told him yep just like momma. It was the sweetest thing. I am learning to find the peace in activities instead of thinking they are all so sad. Jazsper is growing like a weed 2 inches since last July!!! His other gramma and his dad called on his birthday.. Funny all Jaz asks about is his " gramma seal" and wanting to talk on the computer ( Skype). He doesn't ever ask to talk to his dad... I wonder if he thinks his dad exists, or if it is more of a pretend thing, like his in invisible friends, and his" children " ha.. I still get sad, and cry at Times, but I can honestly say it is better.. That is a hard thing to admit. I think in some ways I feel I am betraying Korry. But I know she would want me happy, or at least to continue living..  Remembering those who are gone is good, but living is good too... And by living and raising Jazsper the way Korry would want honors her, I think. I think she is smiling down on us.