I Finally Snapped

My mind started playing a few tricks on me yesterday morning. I have had a couple long time patients die that I am close to, and a few that are getting close. I couldn't think straight yesterday. The whole day was just horrible. It took me twice as long to do everything I normally do. I was so worried that my brain had snapped. A few other things went on, I don't want to sound like I am whining. But it all added up to almost a real breakdown. I cried all the way home from work. And then this morning on the way to work I took a sip of coffee and spilled 2 spots onto my white shirt. I started bawling, just uncontrolled. I cried for Korry. I cried for my stressful life. I just cried. When I got to work I called and was able to get an appointment with my counselor first thing this morning. I walked in and just started crying and crying. It was horrible.
We decided that perhaps I needed to start changing my hours to part time now, instead of waiting til next year. My plate is just too full and I need more time at home. So I spoke with my manager, and hopefully it will work out. I should know soon enough. Of course I still have to wait for a replacement to be hired. but if I could just get confirmation that it is a possibility, that would help.
It has been a rough 5 years and altho I am doing much better with my grieving, it is taking a toll on me physically and mentally.
Hopefully a change will help