Grieving Mother.. the journey through Life after my Daughter died

My sister sent me a FB link that was awesome about the 5 things to do to help bereaved parents. I loved it. Put it on my FB page for all to read. But it triggered the flood of emotions I am already drowning in. It led me to a few other links that are for bereaved parents. One in particular really struck a cord with me. It is about how people are feeling with their loss. So many of them were right with my way of thinking. The hiding of the feelings, the facade of functioning. All of these things. The aging 10 years in one day. I posted a few of the ones that really hit home on my FB page. I also posted some of my real feelings, and asked my friends to please bear with me as I was going thru a particularly hard time on this roller coaster right now. I could not believe the overwhelming flood of support and love from tons of people, some of whom are Korry's FB freinds and I dont even know them. All wishing me love and saying they were there if I needed to talk. It was so awesome and...

My sister sent me these today. Such a great picture of my two girls. And a memorable one of the three of us.... Such a beautiful life cut short

Last week it started worse and has continued thru this week as well. As I have mentioned, I don't know what triggers it, but this time has been worse. I leave work crying, stop when I get home, start again when I leave for work and stop when I get there. It has been horrible. I just can't contain it any more. They say your brain only allows so much of a tragedy to surface at a time, and then it will release more of the tragedy as time goes by. Or something like that. Well, lately I have realized (very strongly) that Korry won't be coming back. That I will never get to talk to her or hold her or kiss her or anything. And that is crushing. Absolutely crushing me. I went to a counselor today and I talked non-stop. I just need to get it out. But it is crazy thinking that I am just now starting to realize what has truly happened. It is so surreal.The counselor helped, letting it out, I go back again in 2 weeks. I wish it was sooner, but that is her next available appointment. I...

What is it that causes the flood of emotions sometimes? Some days it hits so suddenly, and I don't know what triggers it. And it will last for a few days, getting worse over time, then mellowing again. I really hope that Jaz will not have to go thru the aches and pains that I feel. It will break my heart when he starts to understand and realize the loss that he has gone thru. He is doing so good right now. He is such a well-adjusted little boy, and so sweet and kind and nice. He is so much like Korry. I just held him and cried last night when I was rocking him. And then when I went and laid in the trundle bed with him in his room with his hand in mine as he fell asleep, I had tears pouring down. He is so precious to me. Just like Korry was. Well all my kids are. I worry so much about the other two kids, too. Once you have gone thru this you worry you will go thru it again. I thank God everyday for getting me thru another night, another day. I pray for the comfort and strength that...

I am getting to where I can make it through the day without crying!!  4 More weeks for the last court hearing, I hope... Jazsper is getting easier on both my husband and myself.. He has seen a picture of Korry decorating cookies, the last Christmas she was alive. So when we made cupcakes this past weekend, he said "I am doing this just like momma." It actually made me smile instead of being sad. I told him yep just like momma. It was the sweetest thing. I am learning to find the peace in activities instead of thinking they are all so sad. Jazsper is growing like a weed 2 inches since last July!!! His other gramma and his dad called on his birthday.. Funny all Jaz asks about is his " gramma seal" and wanting to talk on the computer ( Skype). He doesn't ever ask to talk to his dad... I wonder if he thinks his dad exists, or if it is more of a pretend thing, like his in invisible friends, and his" children " ha.. I still get sad, and cry at Times, but I c...