Strong?????

It's funny how your body will kick into "Auto pilot" mode. People have told me I was "strong" to be able to go thru what I have been thru. "Strong"? I am not sure that is the word to describe it. I think that your body just does what it has to do. Your mind knows what has to be dealt with and just takes care of only those things. I never thought of food. Friends and family brought food in. Weeks worth of food. This was good because it never occurred to me to cook and eat. My husband Paul was in charge of heating up whatever was brought, and putting it on the table. Thank God for him or Jazsper and I would have starved. But Paul kept the household running while I tried to take care of everything that needed to be done for Korry. Paul even went to the wrecking yard and went thru her burned out car to make sure there wasn't anything we may have wanted to keep. Things to keep. How can you not keep everything???
I stayed home from work for almost 3 weeks. Jazsper had moved in with us with his dad's permission and we also watched Dominick Kelsey's toddler while she went back to work. 2 two year olds is a handful, but it never occurred to me. I just did it because it was needed.
It's odd the emotion range. Some days I wouldn't cry at all, other days I couldn't stop.
After the Memorial Celebration the funeral home brought Korry's beautiful purple marble urn box to the house along with all the flowers. The house smelled so nice and the flowers were so pretty, Korry would have loved them I am sure. I put her urn on top of the piano. I certainly was not going to bury it. I still have a hard time with that thought. It makes me cry everytime I think about the option of burying my child. There is no way I could ever do that.