Korry is always close by
Kelsey and I (and baby Andie) did a 5K Saturday, March 18, 2017. It was a "color vibe". They don't keep time and you run/walk whatever speed you want. Additionally, color powder (cornstarch blend) is thrown at you at points during the race. We had a wonderful time. It was so fun. Probably the slowest 5K ever for me, but I really haven't been into running too much since Korry died. It was great spending time with Kelsey doing something fun. She definitely needed it, as did I. After the race, there was music playing. Kelsey and I were getting ready to leave the area when "Don't Stop Believing" started playing. We both stopped walking and had to sing along! It was memorable for Korry because one of the movies she liked had a funny scene with that song in it, and it always makes me think of her. It was memorable for Andy, Kelsey's deceased husband, because it is the song they danced to at their wedding.
Jazsper hit a home run last night at his baseball game. It was so exciting. Driving in this morning i saw super bright rays of sunshine and knew Korry was looking down and had seen Jazsper's game and was extra proud of her boy. Rays of sunshine, are to me, moments when Korry is able to tell me "hey mom, I am up here watching and close by". It warms my heart to think she is near us.
I was at the grocery store the other night when Kelsey called me. We were talking about the Easter cake we were going to make. And I couldn't remember something about the one Korry and I made one year. Kelsey made the comment that Korry left us not knowing some things and there is no way to ask her. It happens a lot. I want to comment to her about something, or ask her something that maybe only she knows, and she isn't here to ask. Sometimes I think I have become numb to so much of life's gives and takes. I rarely cry at anything anymore. Well, except when Jazsper is having a rough time and he is teary and misses his momma. His missing her has become more frequent. I think it is hard for him seeing Dominick and Andie have their momma (Kelsey), and the other kids at school and baseball and their momma's. Bless his heart he just hurts sometimes. It makes me cry softly while I rock him to sleep. I still rock him to sleep and carry him to bed. He is 55 pounds now. But I can't bring myself to stop until he is ready. He really needs that comfort, and I am fine with it. The other night he asked if I would hold him until a movie ended that he was falling asleep with. I told him of course I would. That I hold him every night after he falls asleep. I asked him why he thought I did that and he said because you love me. I told him yep, I love you, but also, that is what Momma would do, so I do it. I explained to him how I try to fill in for his Momma. It seemed to help him and he went right to sleep. I love this little boy so much, and I miss Korry so much.
Jazsper hit a home run last night at his baseball game. It was so exciting. Driving in this morning i saw super bright rays of sunshine and knew Korry was looking down and had seen Jazsper's game and was extra proud of her boy. Rays of sunshine, are to me, moments when Korry is able to tell me "hey mom, I am up here watching and close by". It warms my heart to think she is near us.
I was at the grocery store the other night when Kelsey called me. We were talking about the Easter cake we were going to make. And I couldn't remember something about the one Korry and I made one year. Kelsey made the comment that Korry left us not knowing some things and there is no way to ask her. It happens a lot. I want to comment to her about something, or ask her something that maybe only she knows, and she isn't here to ask. Sometimes I think I have become numb to so much of life's gives and takes. I rarely cry at anything anymore. Well, except when Jazsper is having a rough time and he is teary and misses his momma. His missing her has become more frequent. I think it is hard for him seeing Dominick and Andie have their momma (Kelsey), and the other kids at school and baseball and their momma's. Bless his heart he just hurts sometimes. It makes me cry softly while I rock him to sleep. I still rock him to sleep and carry him to bed. He is 55 pounds now. But I can't bring myself to stop until he is ready. He really needs that comfort, and I am fine with it. The other night he asked if I would hold him until a movie ended that he was falling asleep with. I told him of course I would. That I hold him every night after he falls asleep. I asked him why he thought I did that and he said because you love me. I told him yep, I love you, but also, that is what Momma would do, so I do it. I explained to him how I try to fill in for his Momma. It seemed to help him and he went right to sleep. I love this little boy so much, and I miss Korry so much.
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