Grieving Mother.. the journey through Life after my Daughter died

It's hard at bedtime. I have always rocked Jazsper until he falls asleep. Then for a while longer I cuddle him to be sure he is asleep.  Korry always either held him or laid down with him at bedtime. The last 6 months I have really been working on getting him to walk into his room, read a book, sing songs and go to sleep by himself. For a while he was able to do this and it was working quite well. I forget now what changed, but he struggles with this again. I have never liked letting my kids cry themselves to sleep. And Jazsper is no exception. The hardest part is that I wonder if some how subconsciously he knows that he went to sleep, and woke up with out his momma... He just doesn't like sleeping alone. Last night Dominick slept over. Jazsper was able to sleep on his own. Tonight is a different story. He kept coming out with reasons to not go to sleep alone. Finally in tears he said he was worried about bad dreams. I asked him what bad dreams he has. Tearfully, he explained t...

About a month ago, I had a few days where I missed my antidepressant medications. I actually felt pretty good, in fact better than usual. And when we went to TX I didn't take them either. I felt like I was doing fine without them. My pharmacist, however said that it would take closer to a week to really notice a difference. So since that time I have dropped my dosage a little. Instead of 3 pills, I just have been taking 2. Odd thing, I have noticed a big difference in being MORE depressed, sad, teary. A lot of it has been Paul and his negativity making me extra sad, and father's day I got a text from my little sister just stating "I really miss dad today".  That totally set me over the edge. And I have been teary, missing my Dad, and teary missing my Korry.  So is it the lower dosage of meds, that is having bad affects, or is it just life????  I see the doctor in a week, so maybe she will have some ideas. I don't like taking meds. I never have. But I think there ...