Another Loss

I have been doing pretty good again, now that the holidays and all are over.  Life is beginning to settle in again. Kyle has bought a house in Magna UT, and I am real proud of him for that. He did not want me to come out to visit until he is set up with furniture and such, so as a mom, haha, I wanted to make sure he had what he needed. So, onto Amazon I went. I bought him all his kitchen basics and shower curtain/rod. I felt so good. It really helped me to get over not going out and helping him. As a mom I was not ready to cut the umbilical cord completely. I am glad he is happy. In the midst of the excitement of him buying a house, tragedy has struck our family once again. Kelsey's husband went into the ER sick Friday night 1/15/16, and died about 24 hours later 1/16/16. A virus flew thru his blood stream and shut down all his organs until his heart just gave out. My poor little girl. Mother of a 4 yr old, pregnant with a baby and a widow at 22. It breaks my heart. The 2 people that have been her rocks and most important people in her life for the past 5 years, are now gone. First her sister, Korry, and now her husband of 13 months. She doesn't talk much so I never really know how she feels. We have discussed a few things.  She has confided in me somewhat about how they had not been getting along and how they had been arguing and he was mad at her. She was feeling guilty about not being more concerned about him being sick.  But, I have told her not to do that. She did all she was capable of doing. I think she is also a little mad because the baby was his idea. He really wanted a baby.  She finally felt stable enough with him to get pregnant. They really planned and put a lot of thought into it. She commented on how she "did everything right, got married waited, planned for the baby, then got pregnant"  She is not a real nurturing person, so this will be hard for her, I am sure.  I just can't imagine what must be going thru her head. I spent 2 weeks with her in ND.  Basically just vegging with her. She didn't want to do anything. I made the financial phone calls for her and got that part taken care of.  She will be moving back to Alabama this weekend (2/6/16). Andy's parents have taken control of her and are having her live with them. They feel this will "honor his memory" personally I think they are full of crap and just want to keep the grandbaby near.  Kyle was kind and said that maybe the timing on his house happened so Kelsey could move there. Andy's mom came unglued and said "NO, she has to stay here with family". I realize she is grieving, but she REALLY got on my nerves. She thought she had all the answers and no one else knew anything or could do anything.  Never seen anybody quite like her. I knew she was a control freak when the kids were getting married, but I am amazed at how she felt like she was so in charge of my own daughter.... It will be interesting to see how this pans out. 
I have learned from grieving over Korry, what NOT to say to her. I try to offer her comfort, but as with the loss of Korry there is no way. So young to have so much tragedy.
It scares me sometimes to think that maybe when I start doing good again, something else will go wrong.  Paul is in pretty good cardiac health, but his skeletal system is banged up pretty bad from being in the military. I worry that something will happen to him.  I don't think I could make it thru another loss.  Of course we never thought we would go thru something like this again after Korry. I hope Kelsey continues with the baby steps forward and surviving.
People have told me how strong I am.    And how I can offer Kelsey the strength that I have to support her.  I never really thought of myself as "strong". I think that Paul helps me to be strong. He has given me a stable foundation. I want to stay and not run and start over some where else. I have done that all my life.  But I do believe you can't let parts of life get to you, and keep you down. It is a struggle.  But everyday find something uplifting and it helps.  I listen to my Christian music when I am in the car alone. I turn it up loud. It is so cool that when a song sticks in my head, it is a song of praise to Jesus.