Holidays
Everyone told me that holidays would be so hard. But I find instead they are just "off" Thanksgiving came less than a month after Korry's accident. Instead of cooking the big meal with all the family, I simply cooked a few things. And then I only invited Kelsey, and my husband's brother. It was almost surreal. The hardest part was the fact that Korry used to help so much. It was a challenge, but not as bad as I had anticipated.
Christmas was all about Jazsper so that was sort of "ok". But i got tired of the family being over, and wanted everyone to go home.
I find that happens a lot. I get tired of people. I don't want to have people over, nor do I want to go to any gatherings. At least not where I have to be social to other people and carry on conversations. I don't like trivial conversations at all.
New Year's Eve, Paul and I went to our usual New Year's party at the Officer's Club on post. It was hard. I didn't feel very festive. And knowing that Korry's birthday was New Year's Day, didn't help much. I missed her so much on that day. I put balloons on her cross at the crash site. And I kept one at home and put on her urn. I think when Jazsper is a little older we will celebrate Korry's birthday. I think it would be important to him to keep her memory and celebrate her life.
I think, tho, that the hardest day for special occasions, came on Jazsper's birthday. That was so hard, because I kept thinking that Korry should be there. That he was so very important in her life. He was her world. All she ever wanted, and it broke my heart she wasn't here to celebrate his birthday.
Mother's day is coming up.. It will be so hard not having my darling child Korry. Kelsey is now in ND, so I wont have my darling baby either. And Kyle is in Utah as always, I have gotten used to him not being here, but he is always so good to call me! I don't have my own mom to celebrate with either. I have never liked Mother's day. I think now I will dislike it even more.
Christmas was all about Jazsper so that was sort of "ok". But i got tired of the family being over, and wanted everyone to go home.
I find that happens a lot. I get tired of people. I don't want to have people over, nor do I want to go to any gatherings. At least not where I have to be social to other people and carry on conversations. I don't like trivial conversations at all.
New Year's Eve, Paul and I went to our usual New Year's party at the Officer's Club on post. It was hard. I didn't feel very festive. And knowing that Korry's birthday was New Year's Day, didn't help much. I missed her so much on that day. I put balloons on her cross at the crash site. And I kept one at home and put on her urn. I think when Jazsper is a little older we will celebrate Korry's birthday. I think it would be important to him to keep her memory and celebrate her life.
I think, tho, that the hardest day for special occasions, came on Jazsper's birthday. That was so hard, because I kept thinking that Korry should be there. That he was so very important in her life. He was her world. All she ever wanted, and it broke my heart she wasn't here to celebrate his birthday.
Mother's day is coming up.. It will be so hard not having my darling child Korry. Kelsey is now in ND, so I wont have my darling baby either. And Kyle is in Utah as always, I have gotten used to him not being here, but he is always so good to call me! I don't have my own mom to celebrate with either. I have never liked Mother's day. I think now I will dislike it even more.
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