Grieving Mother.. the journey through Life after my Daughter died

I think I have reached a turning point. I feel much better. I know that as the 2 year mark comes up next month, I have a tendency to be more irritable.  At least I hope that is why I am irritable! As Jazsper reaches milestones, now, or does something cool, I don't always think "I wish Korry was here for this".  My thoughts are that she is watching him from above, and she sees these wonderful things. Sometimes I will comment when I am alone looking up at the sky "Did you see that?" and comment on how wonderful Jazsper is.  This morning was Childhood Cancer Awareness Super Heroes day at preschool this morning.  As we spent time this weekend with Spiderman costume, it didn't even cross my mind about wishing Korry could see this.  It isn't that I forget about her, because I would never want to do that, it is more that I don't feel sad at her missing things, and I have come to accept that she be here for these things.  Jazsper and I talk about her alot wh...

I haven't written much lately, because for the most part I am feeling fairly good, all things considered.  Jazsper seems to be doing good.  He needed to speak with his dad, and they now talk every couple weeks or so.  I feel Jazsper needs it since he started asking a few questions about his dad.  We went to the beach, I bought an extravagant purse I have wanted for years, and I started feeling good. Funny, when I mentioned it to a couple friends they looked at me and said "its OK to feel good"..It really helped and I was surprised that maybe perhaps I did feel like I shouldn't be feeling OK ever.... I guess I needed permission, sort of..... It made a big difference in me. They had no idea what it meant to me.  Last week however, I was having a rough morning, and stopped by a coworker area, and was talking with a couple people I don't see very often, but that I am close to.  When they asked how I was, it hit me again and I started crying. I got hugs of cours...